ranch weekend. 20040808

nakada ranch is a riot. learned to ride a motorcycle, witnessed chan catch his first fish, gawked at billions and billions of shooting stars, galaxies and even satellites. made a midnight boating/hiking venture, saw my first living tri-tip and had the most incredible lamb chops and omlette-with-magri ever.

despite chop's incessant bitching about traffic, even the drive was great. through movie-esque vineyards, (incorrectly) pointing out motorcycles, talking guy talk that even guys don't like talking about. though the language remains the same, the tone reveals the secrets that we don't normally speak of. and in those friend confessionaries, i realize i'm not alone in feeling the way i do.

i found a small bit of peace-- from the land, in the company, with the decisions i have made. the rancher is right. things will continue to succeed without me. departure and loss is as easily forgotten i have forgotten those before me. and in the end, i have only myself to blame for the self-imagined restrictions preventing me from travelling, experiencing, doing.